If I were to create a tier list of animals cats and harp seals would go straight to S tier. Incidentally I’d probably put walruses in the A or B tier, they’re cool too. Just my luck that this iteration of the Game Trade gives some of my favorite animals the spotlight. Welcome or welcome back to the Game Trade Reviews, where a certain Spartan and I each play a video game the other likes and then writes a whole ass blog post about it. This time around I’m doing something a bit different. Some time ago before we conducted these reviews in blog form I took on A Hat in Time, an indie platformer full of quirks. I am not here to rehash my thoughts on the full game. It’s a good game, would recommend. There. Instead, I am simply here to comment on the additional chapters provided by DLC: Seal the Deal and Nyakuza Metro.
Both of these DLC introduce a new chapter/area to explore. Furthermore Seal the Deal introduces a challenge game mode called Death Wish. This is the part of the DLC I’ll discuss first because I happened to play it first. Why? Because when I booted up the game that’s the first thing the game directed me to. I saw a brief view of Snatcher chilling in a room and I just had to check it out. So let’s get into it, and here’s a table of contents if you want to skip to a different part.
- Death Wish: Can’t Say the Title Doesn’t Fit
- Nyakuza Metro: They Have Train Cats, Need I Say More?
- The Arctic Cruise: Where the Captain Employs Child Labor and Then Complains About It
- The Gameplay
- The Soundtrack
- Final Thoughts
Death Wish: Can’t Say the Title Doesn’t Fit
So Snatcher, our shit talking ghost buddy, has a bunch of new assignments for us. We don’t have to do them, but if we abstain it’ll prove the haters right! So what does Hat Kid’s premiere hater want us to do? There’s 114 challenges in all, with 3 challenges per stage. This 114 also includes some candle challenges where you complete tasks outside of the Death Wish stages. It’s clear this mode exists to provide a strong challenge for people who seek it out. Not to say the base game isn’t challenging at all, but you don’t exactly need to master the game to pull it off. With Death Wish you put everything you learn to the test. I took that test and I… beat the first stage, dropped the second one and called it a day. I, Cosmia, who platinum’d Bloodborne found this challenge too daunting. To be fair I probably could get through it if I tried hard enough, but is that really how I want to use my time? Hmmm… well, at the very least I can comment on the one stage I did complete.
“Beat the Heat” is a harder version of a pre-existing level. In the original you had to go around the lava covered Mafia Town turning off the faucets. Don’t you just hate it when your massive faucets start spewing lava everywhere? It’s not a fun time. Pretty dangerous honestly. That much isn’t anything new. This time around they introduce a heat mechanic to spice things up. If you spend too much time outside without cooling off in a body of water you start taking damage. Stay out in the heat too long and you fucking die.
As you can see from the screenshot above it took me a decent amount of tries to get through this. I don’t remember the final count, but it’s probably more than the seven shown here. More times than I expected to from the first damn challenge. I consider myself pretty good at most video games. I’m not some top tier gamer that could make bank on speedruns or no hit playthroughs. However, it’s not especially common for me to die this often to anything. FromSoft bosses? Sure. Not much else. But this level kinda kicked my ass a good number of times. There’s the baseline difficulty of the original level still in place. Your progress gets reset every time you die. Take too long on any part and you die of heat stroke. I wouldn’t say it’s an unfair challenge, but it’s definitely a challenge.
By the way, it’s kind of fucked up that the water slide that leads to one of the faucets doesn’t cool you down. Sure, it’s relatively shallow and letting you cool down with it would *maybe* make that part easier than it should be. But it’s still water damnit! How many times must I feel the heat during that section and have that stream of water relentlessly mock me?
Alas, after however many attempts I managed to beat the heat. I turned off all the lava faucets… and then died of heat stroke. I had to start all over again. One would think just shutting off all the faucets would be enough, but I guess not. You gotta head back to attend the party the mafia throw for you afterwards. After I managed to beat the heat again without dying of heat stroke I finally finished the contract… kind of. As you might notice from the screenshot above turning off all the lava faucets isn’t the only goal. After you finish the level normally you finally get to learn what you have to do for the secret bonus points. Bonus 1: Don’t get too hot! Which means you can’t overheat or touch lava. Bonus 2: Don’t cool down more than 2 times! So you’ve got to blaze through the whole level without dying or taking more than two dips in the pool. Is it even possible to pass both of these challenges at the same time? I’m not sure I could pull off either one individually either. Fortunately for me, around that time I died enough to unlock Peace and Tranquility.
When you select Peace and Tranquility you get to watch a peculiar dance video. Hat Kid sways back and forth, doing her best druggie white girl dance. She’s putting on her best chill :3 face she can muster. A synth soundtrack plays that fits the title well. It’s got a decently fast tempo, but it’s not bombastic or abrasive. There’s a fuzzy background that constantly changes colors. Below Hat Kid we can read the following lines of text:
No one is around to help
Life is hard, life is stressful
I need peace and tranquility
I don’t have to prove myself to anyone
I must say, watching this was probably the most emotionally impactful thing this game has to offer. Including the base game. Perhaps I’m just saying this because I was high when I got to this part. If I needed help with something I could go find my dad. However, he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to help me with this level! With the help of these captions I grew to accept myself and how things are going a bit more. It’s nothing super dramatic, but it did move me a bit. Egged on by the last line and general curiosity I decided to say yes to activating Peace and Tranquility mode. And uh yeah, it does make things substantially easier. With Peace and Tranquility activated the heat stroke takes a hell of a lot longer to kick in. Furthermore you can get the bonus points just by completing the level. One relatively leisurely playthrough later and I got all the points. It may have cost my pride, but I can let go of that. That’s Peace and Tranquility baby!
That being said, it does feel a bit strange implementing an easy mode for a challenge mode. I guess it’s good for people that want to experience everything Death Wish has to offer without getting their ass kicked as much, but is there really that much of a point? I’m not sure honestly. Hence why I decided to give up after a few failed attempts at the next level.
Thus concluded my time with Death Wish mode. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention the part where I killed 5 mafia dudes without getting punched to win another stamp. So I got 4 stamps in total before calling it quits. Doesn’t feel great proving the haters right, but when that hater’s Snatcher I don’t mind. After all, if Snatcher was a girl she’d be best girl. Unfortunately he’s a guy so that award has to go elsewhere. But let it be known he is best boy. Also best Hat in Time character overall, DLC or otherwise. Still his challenges are brutal. I had a tough time with the first one and the second one made me throw in the towel. I can only imagine how rough things would get if I tried to get through everything. Taking on all those bonus challenges without Peace and Tranquility activated? Yeesh. I hear the developers even nerfed some of the levels later on. If it’s too hard for people that want a challenge mode you know that shit was something else.
While I didn’t go through the entire Death Wish mode I think I know enough to judge it to an extent. If you’re looking for something to really sink some time into this is it. Most of the challenges are remixes of pre-existing levels. They’re getting a lot of mileage out of something that probably didn’t take all that much effort to make. My only regret not playing through all levels is that I’ll miss out on some premiere Snatcher lines. Alas, that is a sacrifice I’ll have to live with. Of the three main parts of the DLC I think it’s safe to say I find Death Wish to be the weakest addition. It serves its purpose well enough, but it’s a purpose I don’t have much interest in.
So with Death Wish out of the way it was finally time to take on the main thing I bought these DLCs for: the two new chapters. My good friend Spartan recommended I play through Arctic Cruise first, but that wasn’t feasible. It requires 35 time pieces to enter, and I only had 28 to work with. Sure I could backtrack and piece together 7 more time pieces from the main game but that’s a lot more effort than I wanted to put in. So instead I went for the option that only required 20 time pieces to start. I hope y’all like cats, because there’ll be plenty of them from here on out.
Nyakuza Metro: They Have Train Cats, Need I Say More?
Nope. 11/10. Review over.
Unfortunately I don’t think a certain Spartan would be satisfied with me leaving it at that. So I guess I’ll elaborate or whatever. Fine. Let it be known that I’m providing further commentary out of the kindness of my heart, not necessity. I’m even accommodating to the heathens who aren’t instantly won over by Train Cat. I want you to know that you’re wrong and you should rethink your perspective on life. Something went wrong somewhere. Get help. But oh well, here it goes.
The idea of using cats as a means of transit is not necessarily new. Decades before the creation of Train Cat My Neighbor Totoro introduced Catbus to the world. Catbus is an odd but memorable creature, as he is simultaneously a bus and a cat. Unlike the Train Cat, which pulls the train along, Catbus is the bus itself. There’s a certain charm to him that makes him unforgettable, but he’s also a bit eerie. Like, if you sit inside Catbus you’re essentially in his innards. You’re kept warm by his internal body heat. Not to mention it’s hard to tell if his toothy grin is creepy or endearing. Honestly, it’s kind of both.
Given Nyakuza Metro’s clear Japanese inspiration I think it’s safe to assume Train Cat took direct inspiration from Catbus. They even share a similar fur color and yellow eyes that shine like a headlight. Admittedly Train Cat is not quite as unique or memorable of a design. Other than the aforementioned Catbus-like traits it’s basically just an unusually large cat dragging a train. However, that has the advantage of making Train Cat notably less creepy. As far as homages go I could hardly ask for anything more. It’s similar enough to remind me of that mostly beloved creature, but still brings something new to the table. Namely the train, I’m quite fond of trains. Add a cat pulling the train and you’ve got a recipe for success! Hence I rate the Cat Train 11/10. Godspeed Train Cat. There, that’s my elaboration. Satisfied? No? Well I am. But fine guess I’ll talk about the rest of the area.
Nyakuza Metro is distinct from all other chapters in the game in its structure. Instead of kicking you out once you find a time piece and unlocking the next part you can just keep going until the end. It’s an open world where you can explore at your own pace. That being said, the game does guide you through where you’re supposed to go. You don’t necessarily *have* to follow this path, but the metro card system pushes you in that direction. In following this path you naturally come across everything Nyakuza Metro has to offer. It may be an open world, but there’s hardly any wasted space. I think developers interested in creating games in that genre should take notes. To better understand how Nyakuza Metro pulls this off so well, let’s first take a look at the storyline.
It begins with Hat Kid dropping in somewhere in the city. She navigates past the vacuum cats, train cats, and regular cat citizenry to make her way to a time piece. Normally when you reach a time piece that’s the end of the level so you head back home to enjoy the reward. Unfortunately it doesn’t quite work out like that this time. A couple mask wearing hooligans that are also anthropomorphic cats show up saying it belongs to the boss. Hat Kid tries to back away, but the boss shows up behind her to snatch the time piece out of her hands. This is the Empress, the humble jewelry shop owner/crime lord that runs this town. She’s kind of like what would happen if Mae Borowski from Night in the Woods got a growth spurt and took “be gay do crimes” to a whole ‘nother level. Also best girl by default. Perhaps she could have eliminated us, but she has a different plan in mind. Since we’re so good at finding time pieces she thinks putting us under her thumb can get her more.
Thus Hat Kid joins the Nyakuza, the shady crime ring with a heavy influence on the city. She tells Hat Kid where to go to find the next time piece and then claims it for herself once found. In exchange Hat Kid gets a fat wad of cash money. That might not seem like the worst deal in most circumstances. It does appear to be a lot of money after all. But Hat Kid doesn’t even seem to recognize what it is. She has no use for it. Even when she shops around the metro for food and train passes she uses the pons she’s collected to pay. As far as Hat Kid’s concerned she gets nothing out of the arrangement. And yet she keeps going after time pieces any way.
The design of Nyakuza Metro is interesting, in some respects it’s linear and in others it isn’t in the slightest. There’s a main hub that breaks off into quite a few branching paths. However, every individual path by and large only has one path forward with minor detours. It’s a winding path that often involves hopping on trains, but there’s still only ever one way to go. You theoretically could get the time pieces out of order, but the game encourages you to stick to the conventional path. Both through the Empress’ assignments and the design of the area itself.
See Nyakuza Metro has a train pass system. Certain areas are blocked off entirely until you find the right color pass to get through the gate. Why do you need a different color pass for gates within the same train station? Seems like a rip-off, but it does work well for gameplay purposes. With the colored gates you can only access certain parts of the area after you’ve already explored a different part that includes the train pass. I suppose it’s possible to run to the ticket counter and then run to the time piece that new train pass unlocks. However, there’s generally a time piece much closer by that you could grab first instead. Not much point in saving it for later when it’s right there. So while you aren’t forced into following the pre-ordained sequence there’s little reason not to. For the record I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this approach. If the game just had you aimlessly wander around stumbling upon time pieces until you found them all that would probably be worse.
After Hat Kid collects all the time pieces she can find the exchange with the Empress goes a bit differently. The Empress no longer has any assignments to give Hat Kid… for now. Instead, she takes her leave in order to make “preparations.” For what exactly? Eh who cares. Crimes presumably. After she leaves the camera pans to an opened door inside the jewelry shop. This is the storage room where the Empress collects her cash money and also the time pieces. Why did she leave it open? *shrugs* But shit, if she didn’t want us to steal the time pieces back why let them be so easy to take? The only problem is Hat Kid ain’t slick. She successfully gathers up all the time pieces, but when she tries to leave the Empress is already outside the door. The Empress promptly summons a mic to ask everyone in the area to capture Hat Kid.
With this the chase is on, starting the final chapter of this area. It’s a fast paced chase sequence where Hat Kid has to escape the Metro while evading capture. In spite of the generous reward there’s less people cats chasing after Hat Kid than you’d think. Most of the residents are just passive onlookers blocking certain routes, forcing Hat Kid down one particular path. Down this path we play all the hits from the previous time pieces we collected along with some new stuff. Namely the fact that the Empress comes at us with a big ass rocket launcher.
Fortunately for us this particular rocket launcher isn’t particularly dangerous compared to its real life counterpart. There’s a circle that indicates where Empress is aiming at and its blast radius. Whether that’s a feature of the rocket or Hat Kid’s power of perception is unclear. Either way, when the Empress does lock on and shoot the projectile doesn’t move particularly fast. Even if it does hit its mark it only does a quarter of Hat Kid’s life. This all makes the weapon a lot more fair to play against from a gameplay perspective, but it does make the situation a lot less threatening. As you may notice from the above screenshot there’s a peculiar glowing green device in the background. This is one of the generators designed to emit a force field to block Hat Kid’s path. To move forward you have to run in front of said generators to get the Empress to shoot a rocket at them. You’d think the Empress would figure out to stop blowing up her own generators after like, the 8th time the same shit happens. But nope, she’s so trigger happy she’ll shoot at Hat Kid regardless of the consequences. She’d fit right in with the IDF.
At the end of the chase Hat Kid reaches an elevator. She hopes to use it to escape, but the Empress is already waiting for her inside. The Empress’ goons block the path behind her so Hat Kid is forced to go in. Here the Empress laments putting too much faith in Hat Kid and all that other fun villain victory speech monologue stuff. Before she can do anything to actually hurt Hat Kid a couple cops randomly hop on the elevator. The police in Nyakuza Metro seem to look the other way pertaining to the Empress’ dealings, but they still won’t let a little girl get killed right in front of them. Furthermore, they’d probably stop ignoring the Empress’ misdeeds if she killed the cops as well. So the cops save the day… woo… and the Empress leaves as fast as she can. Soon afterwards one of the other officers leaves the elevator as well, leaving Hat Kid alone with the remaining one.
This officer is bought off by the Nyakuza but completely oblivious to the situation at hand. Hence he hands Hat Kid a time piece, assuming she’s still the Empress’ underling. Of all the ways we’ve collected a time piece this one’s among the best. We went through so much bullshit just to preserve our life and incidentally get a time piece for free. And that concludes the Nyakuza Metro story. If you decide to come again afterwards the jewelry store gets investigated by the police, preventing the Empress from making any more moves against you. Hard to say if this will amount to any fundamental changes in the city, but Hat Kid successfully cashed out. 9 whole time pieces, more than enough for me to unlock the other DLC area. (Actually there’s 10 if you count the time rift, but I didn’t bother with that one). I’ll discuss my adventures on the Arctic Cruise soon enough, but first there’s a few other aspects of the Metro I wish to touch on.
In addition to collecting all the time pieces a certain Spartan gave me a few other tasks to perform while I was there. The first assignment was to collect 3 stickers, which are collectibles hidden in various spots across the map. Unless you actively ignore them I have a hard time imagining anyone finding less than 3 if they complete this map. I certainly exceeded that number substantially. These stickers display Hat Kid and other characters from the game with various expressions, props, and poses. You have the option of selecting a portion of them to play around with in a wheel menu. Select a sticker and Hat Kid gives a brief voice line corresponding to it. My personal favorite is Hat Kid’s Conductor impression saying, “Myurder!” To be fair, I haven’t listened to every voice line, but I find it difficult to imagine anything beating it. The stickers aren’t anything amazing, but it’s a cute little addition that rewards exploration. I’ve got no complaints on this front.
The second assignment Spartan gave me was to buy food at the Metro. This can easily be done at one of the many food trucks and stalls throughout. Each spot has a slightly different menu and pricing, but not different enough to justify how damn many of them there are. Regardless, I obliged and ordered some food. Multiple times in fact. Buying food has multiple advantages. For one it can heal you, which is nice if you’re low and there aren’t enough heal balls around. You can even buy a combo meal which gives you an extra life point temporarily until you take damage. Beyond the practical advantages I appreciate the food’s humorous descriptions and occasional cat theming. Here’s a slideshow showing some of the highlights.
I need that tea cup yesterday. If only I knew where to find it. Regardless, I think it’s safe to say I like this addition as well. It adds a lot of personality to the Metro.
The third assignment was attempting Death Wish, which I already talked about. The fourth was to complete the Nyakuza Metro and Seal the Deal stories, which I’ve also done. So time to talk about the Arctic Cruise right? Well, I could but then Spartan remembered to add a fifth assignment, which is to buy an item from the vendors. I’m not exactly following the sequence here, but it probably makes sense to talk about that before I move on to the next chapter. So yeah, throughout the Metro there are some shady vendors that mostly sell Nyakuza Metro themed cosmetics. A keen eye might notice that Hat Kid is wearing one in some of the previous screenshots. Hat Kid’s rocking that purple and yellow Metro hoody. I also bought a hat that converts my brewing cap into a money launcher, converted my umbrella into a hat, and bought a comfy sweater. Oh, I also bought a badge that made everything look like you’re in a Game Boy game. It’s kind of neat but making everything green gets old quickly. Besides that one I’m quite happy with my other purchases. I legitimately like how a lot of these cosmetics look more than the default versions.
So yeah, they did a good job with these vendors. That was actually the last assignment on my list, but there’s one other detail I’d like to mention. In the central hub of the Metro you can talk to some train station employees. One of them tells you about an accessibility option that offers you guidelines to head towards your next objective. I can see how this would be a helpful feature. Directionally challenged people gotta have some consideration. More to the point it’s not difficult to imagine colorblind people getting confused about which colored gate to head to next. The only thing visually distinguishing them is color after all. So having guidelines could be a legitimately helpful addition in those cases. Fortunately for me I am neither colorblind nor particularly bad at directions so I didn’t take their offer. Still, I think it’s a nice touch that it’s included.
So that’s Nyakuza Metro, and I must say it was pretty damn good. I’m a fan of cats and this place had no shortage of them. Train Cats, vacuum cats, mafia cats, police cats, cat tea, abundant cat imagery throughout. Cats all around. I also think the map’s well designed both from a structural perspective and visually. To be honest Hat in Time was never the best looking game ever, but this place has strong theming going for it. Like all the cats. Also the dark colored streets contrasted with the bright and colorful lighting. The challenge was neither obnoxiously difficult nor trivially easy, mostly hitting a good sweetspot throughout. Oh, and also the occasional rat enemy means this game definitively passes the rodent quota criteria. Good shit. Any ways, I think it’s high time I talk about the other DLC map.
The Arctic Cruise: Where the Captain Employs Child Labor and Then Complains About It
Welcome aboard, it’s the last chapter of Hat in Time unless they decide to release more DLC. Except it’s actually the second to last… but I played it last. It’s the final chapter for me okay. And honestly, I don’t think they should release more DLC. What they’ve released is a perfectly appropriate amount for one game. If there’s more they might as well make a sequel instead. And what’s better, it puts the spotlight on one of my favorite orders in the animal kingdom: the pinnipeds. Not just any pinnipeds, baby harp seals, one of the greatest things this planet has to offer. Also there’s a walrus captain. Walruses are pretty cool too. I can appreciate a good walrus. And as far as I’m concerned all walruses are good. Even if they do bad things who am I to judge the morality of walruses? I will just admire them from afar. Truly it’s almost as if Hat in Time engineered the animal theme of each DLC for me, specifically. Even the hard mode I don’t enjoy as much gives Snatcher the mic. These developers know ball.
Arctic Cruise is neither as large nor takes as long to complete as Nyakuza Metro. You’re not exploring a city this time. Instead you’re aboard a large ship. As such it follows the more conventional act structure. You play a level out until you get the time piece, you get sent back to the hub, and then have to select the next level. I quite like Nyakuza Metro’s approach, but I think this one suits the setting just fine. It’s a more curated and controlled experience, just like a cruise. Compared to a city any way. There’s only 4 time pieces to be found on this cruise counting the time rift, less than half what Nyakuza Metro offers. In exchange each time piece feels like a much more distinct experience to attain. In Nyakuza Metro the area design itself kept things fresh, but it was basically the same scenario each time. Find a time piece somewhere and it gets taken by the Empress, repeat 8 times before you steal it back. On the cruise you’ve got to do something quite different for each time piece you attain. So let’s start from the top with “Act 1: Bon Voyage!”
The stage begins with you standing outside the cruise ship before it takes off. You can talk to a bunch of folks with their baggage, all of which intend to go along for the ride. There’s a lot of familiar faces, like the Conductor and some fish dude. Actually the fish dude’s completely new apparently but shhhh. The crew members are friendly enough, but they also speak using cartoon baby voice. A sort that would irritate me coming from literally anything else. But the harp seals are actually babies so I guess it works. Also whoever voices them did a good job with it. They very easily could have made the delivery super grating, but instead it’s only mildly grating. Good job!
Meanwhile the Captain reluctantly allows our underage ass to board, telling us not to get in the way. Purportedly his crew already do that. Damn dude we haven’t even set sail yet and you’re already throwing shade at your employees! To be fair, given what we see later it’s kind of justified. But as my chapter heading says, realistically you don’t get to employ child labor and complain about its results. Regardless, we get to board, assuming we can get past a whole ass obstacle course to get there.
Once you make it aboard (and everyone else does too off screen somehow) you’re told to check in at the lobby desk. That means you’re all set to enjoy the cruise, but that’s not the only reason you’re here. Gotta keep collecting those time pieces after all. The good news is the desk clerk remembers seeing a time piece. The bad news is…
So our time piece got smashed to pieces and scattered across the ship. Great job crew! As far as set ups for collecting a time piece go this one’s top notch. It plays off the seal crew’s preestablished incompetence and is pretty humorous for one. Also from a gameplay perspective this setup gives you an incentive to explore the entire ship. This is good both because it helps you appreciate all the cruise has to offer, and helps setup for the next act. After all, that one’s a lot easier to complete if you have a good understanding of the ship’s layout. Searching all over for shards of glass is a good way to build that understanding.
Not only is the setup strong, but it’s quite fun in execution as well. It’s not especially difficult, even by base game standards. However, what it lacks in challenge it makes up for in personality. There’s so much variety in what each room has to offer, and there’s a lot of fun NPC dialogue to be found all over.
This act is pretty relaxing to go through, as I imagine an actual cruise is supposed to be. Just like a real life cruise it’s not devoid of danger. Rather than that danger coming from easily spread diseases and other unpleasant things we get humorous stage hazards. For instance in the dining area our glorious crew forgot to secure some of the tables. This makes them slide back and forth and damage all who stand in their path. I don’t think I ever died to these things, but I’ve taken more damage from them than I’d care to admit. There’s also the kitchen where the crew’s just barely holding it together. I’m impressed they can get any food at all served when everything’s on fire.
All in all this is about as good an introductory chapter as you can get. It sets the stage well, and it’s quite the charming stage indeed. It’s nothing too crazy, but it does prepare you for the greater challenges to come. Such as what “Act 2: Ship Shape” has in store.
I don’t remember for sure, but I think I cleared the first act on my first try. This one takes things to the next level: I needed TWO tries to get it done! Honestly, putting it like that kind of undersells the difficulty. The map layout is basically the same so there’s not too much risk of death outside the kitchen. However, this one comes with a time limit. I’m glad they saved such a task for the second act. The first act gave me plenty of opportunity to explore at my leisure and talk to whoever, so I don’t feel bothered by this one giving me less time to do so. Why is there a time limit? Well…
The act begins with Hat Kid heading to the bridge to consult the Captain. She offers to help around on the ship, and he doesn’t seem to mind. You’d think he’d have second thoughts about employing a preteen. Do they even have labor laws on this planet? Well, at the very least she’s probably older than his crewmembers. Regardless, he tells her to help with various tasks such as delivering food. Furthermore, he expects her to “make it quick.” Hence where the timer comes in. From this point you have to complete 18 jobs around the vessel before the Captain gets pissed off.
The jobs themselves are pretty conventional for the most part. Most of them involve picking something up and putting it down somewhere else. Whether it be taking stuff to the trash, giving some gamblers their dice, or dropping off laundry. These tasks are scattered throughout the ship, but unlike last time you’re given some guidance on where to go. Said guidance comes in two forms. First are the icons showing a symbol representing the task and a shrinking outer circle indicating how much time you have left to complete them. They also show you how far away said icon is in meters to give you a decent sense of where it is. I’m an American so naturally I have only a vague idea of how far a meter is. Fortunately, even a backwards American like myself can tell that something 6 meters away is closer by than something with a larger number. Even people used to the metric system would probably have a hard time mapping meters to the distances shown in-game. It works out any way.
The other tool for guidance comes in the form of a dotted arrow pointing you the right way for the next task. These arrows can be massively helpful. While the first act gives you a good sense of the ship’s layout it’s hardly enough for most people to master it. Having something pointing you the right way is a godsend. However, these directions can be inconsistent. There are quite a few tasks around the ship, and the arrows can only point to one at a time. This is helpful when you don’t know what to do next or they happen to point at the task you want to do. However, if you find yourself wanting to do something besides what it points to it becomes more distracting than usual. Also if you get too far away from the job it’s pointing to it will frequently change course to point at something else. This makes sense but can be kind of disorienting. All in all I’d rather have this guideline than not, but it can be unreliable.
Another reason the guideline has limited usefulness is because Hat Kid can work on multiple tasks at once. When she grabs something to carry she holds on to it until she finds the right place to drop it off. But what happens if you find something else to pick up along the way? On to the stack it goes! Just like the cover illustration shows you can carry a ridiculous amount of stuff at once if you want to. However, doing so comes with downsides. A tall stack will sway from side to side, making it harder to pilot Hat Kid effectively. Even so this girl’s rocking a balanced build. She’s got the strength to carry a bunch of shit at once and the dexterity to keep it all from falling. It’s legitimately impressive. She can even do espionage!
If you complete 18 tasks before the Captain runs out of patience he’ll reward you by letting you help yourself to anything in the lost in found. Under most circumstances I’d consider that a questionable reward. It means the Captain doesn’t have to pay anything out of his own pocket, and someone else potentially loses something instead. However, in our case this is a much more useful reward. Hat Kid doesn’t have any use for conventional money, but she can definitely use the time piece lying in the lost and found.
Thus concludes the second act, which I have a positive opinion of overall. It makes good use of the ship’s full scale like the previous act, and ramps up the difficulty appropriately. Apparently there used to be 20 tasks to complete before time elapsed, which sounds rough. Completing 18 on time is difficult by itself. Trying to get 2 more done in the same timeframe sounds like a nightmare. Good for me that I played this DLC later on so I can enjoy the QOL fixes. Still, I must say I enjoyed the first act more. I could look around at my own pace and talk to whoever I felt like without any fear of repercussion. This hectic second act comes with its own charm, but it definitely doesn’t let you enjoy the ship quite as much. Even so, having to navigate it quickly does help you appreciate how well designed the layout is. Such a shame what happens to it… Which brings me to the grand finale of the cruise, “Act 3: Rock the Boat”
This chapter is a case study in what happens when you let the intrusive thoughts win. For whatever reason the Captain left the helm unattended. There’s harp seal crew members around still, but they either aren’t paying attention or don’t care. So Hat Kid takes the wheel and fucks around with it. I wasn’t sure at first what you were supposed to do at the wheel. I tried steering in a relatively normal fashion at first but nothing happened. After a certain point I just decided to say screw it and go crazy. Apparently that’s what you’re supposed to do to move things forward. And by move things forward I mean straight into an iceberg. Woops.
So basically we’re doing a rerun of the Titanic. A massive and expensive cruise ship sinks after hitting an iceberg. Perhaps at some level it’s wrong to use such a tragedy for a silly little video game, but on the other hand I could think of no more fitting way to close this story off. It’s terrible what happened to the real people on that day, but it’s over a century’s past. The Titanic’s presence in our culture has taken on a life of its own. It became the basis of the highest grossing film of all time… well, what used to be the highest grossing film. Said film ensured the tragedy would be remembered for a long time coming, but it also means people made bank off of real death. And the powerful idea of the Titanic continues to claim victims to this day. Admittedly that’s not a common occurrence, but the Titan implosion was mere months ago. Those people would almost certainly still be alive if the Titanic wasn’t such a huge presence in our culture. On the flip side the improvements to boat engineering and safety that happened as a result of it surely saved lives as well.
In saying all of this I am not condemning Hat in Time for taking inspiration from tragedy. At this point the Titanic is fair game, that’s what we as a society have clearly decided. I just think that any art that takes inspiration from real world traumas needs a baseline level of respect for those impacted. We shouldn’t piss on their graves. Now does Hat in Time do that? As far as I’m concerned, not at all. Yes it turns a terrifying event into an amusing scenario. That sounds iffy on paper, and could be utterly depraved depending on its execution. But Hat in Time does something different from that real tragedy: it ensures everybody’s saved.
Hat Kid’s kind of fucked up for singlehandedly sinking the ship. Based off of her diary entry after the fact she doesn’t seem especially remorseful either.
Uhhhh…… Whoops. I don’t think anyone saw me do that. Should I come up with an excuse just in case?
It was a freak accident? Icebergs just get in the way of ships sometimes? I really wanted to do it?
This VILE MONSTER is more concerned with the possibility of getting caught than how her actions impact everyone else!!!! Clearly Hat Kid was the villain all along. Perhaps that would be unironically true depending on where she took things from there. However, Hat Kid actually does take responsibility in a way. She could have just escaped to the nearest life boat and called it a day. Instead she takes it upon herself to go back into the ship and evacuate everyone that’s still stuck inside. That takes real bravery. She still loses points for causing the mess in the first place, but at least she’s got the will to clean up after herself. The ship itself is a lost cause, but the passengers aren’t.
The level starts out simple enough. There are 4 icons indicating a distressed passenger scattered throughout the ship with a distance measure included. When you find them you can either take them back to the lifeboat immediately or continue stacking them up like plates. It’s a clever reuse of the previous chapter’s gameplay mechanics. Except instead of serving food you’re saving life.
Another notable difference is the lack of a guideline. I think that’s a reasonable omission, you can’t expect such things in a rescue scenario. Still it can make things notably tougher to figure out. With the first round of rescues I got a bit confused finding the last one. The distance marker was a bit misleading in that case. It indicates you’re close by when you’re in a neighboring room that has no direct connection to it. Eventually I figured out the actual path, so it’s not a big deal. I think my mistake was understandable and I suspect many others got confused in the same way. I’m not sure how they could’ve remedied that confusion without making it way easier or redesigning the ship.
Once the first batch is saved another round of distressed creatures pop up. These ones are more spread apart and in more difficult to reach areas. One might wonder how they got there in the first place, but it’s admittedly not particularly important. What I like about this part is the platforming isn’t limited to inside the ship itself. It expands to include the glaciers/icebergs surrounding the area. It also lets you go on parts of the ship you never would when it was fully upright.
Once the second round is saved there’s still someone left to account for. The Captain, who could easily escape if he wanted to, fully intends to go down with the ship. Hat Kid has no intention of letting him do so. So she goes back in one more time for the final rescue.
Meanwhile the Conductor is running out of patience. All his kids are saved, so he wants to get his lifeboat as far away from the wreck as possible. Understandable, lingering around is pretty dangerous. He tells Hat Kid they’ll leave without her if she doesn’t make it back in time. Not exactly a nice thing to say to someone who saved your ass in the first place. To be fair, she also put them in danger in the first place. To be extra fair, the Conductor doesn’t know that part. He’s just a bit of a self-centered jackass. Oh well, the time limit makes things more interesting.
The Hat Kid makes her way to the Captain with the notable help of the seal crew. They give her something to bounce off of to navigate the space and even provide arrow signs pointing the way. It begs the question, if some seal crew members needed help why don’t these guys need it? Who’s supposed to save them? I guess we’re supposed to assume these particular seals are competent enough to save themselves. Any ways, when we make it to him he’s not particularly happy about being saved. Hat Kid ignores his wishes and carries him with one arm.
The Captain continues to complain the entire time you carry him back. During that time he asks a poignant question, “How are you so strong?” Hat Kid does not respond, and I don’t think the game ever explains this elsewhere. The average adult walrus weighs over a ton. Realistically speaking I don’t think there’s a single preteen girl with her frame that could pull that off. A certain Spartan’s explanation is that this is a sign that this game is all one big dream for Hat Kid. Plausible. The wiki seems to think that Hat Kid is actually some form of humanoid alien. Also plausible, it would explain the space ship any way. Either way you’re not going to find much realism from a game where you can shoot lasers out of an umbrella.
Either way if you save the Captain in time that’s the end of the level. Personally I needed about 3 tries to pull it off if I recall correctly. Definitely the toughest non-time rift segment in the Arctic Cruise, but that’s not saying too much. Once the Captain boards the life boat he admits that he wasn’t actually going to die, but just wanted to live out the fantasy. To my understanding real walruses technically can drown after long enough, but that might not be true of alien talking walruses. Regardless, the Captain begrudgingly admits it’s probably better he lead the way to safety than the seal crew. I know he has his own personal hangups because his mentor died at sea, but it’s for the best that we didn’t let him indulge. We get a time piece as a reward and the chapter concludes.
All in all I quite liked the Arctic Cruise, it was a thoroughly charming experience that was pretty fun to play through. The story itself is nothing too profound, but as a lighthearted Titanic parody it works weirdly well. I think what makes it work is that there’s plenty of differences to distance it from real tragedy, but still enough overlap to make it clear what’s being referenced. In short, it works. A better chapter than most of the base game game offerings, and I have a hard time deciding whether I like this one or Nyakuza Metro better.
By the way it’s worth mentioning that I did go back to attempt the time rift in this map. I took a good shot at it, but eventually stopped playing. The time rifts are good at providing platforming challenges and nothing else. There’s no charming NPCs or interesting environments inside them. It’s just a challenge to overcome. For me personally I don’t enjoy platformers when a challenge is the only thing they have to offer. I like exploring creative new environments and seeing the creative ways our movement controls play off of them. Take the cool environment away and I just want to stop when it gets too annoying to complete. Just like I did. Still I’m sure the time rift works just fine for those seeking the thrill of getting their platforming skills tested.
The Gameplay
Seal the Deal and Nyakuza Metro unsurprisingly doesn’t overhaul the gameplay. There’s new mechanics sure, but for the most part it just applies the same movement options to a new environment. You still run the same speed, you still jump the same height and have the same aerial options. Its been so long since I last played that it took time to get used to again. Fortunately “Beat the Heat” offered the trial by fire I needed.
Unfortunately for me “Beat the Heat” doesn’t provide much combat training. So when I had to fight those thief cats in the Metro it got a bit rough. In this game all attacking moves are executed with one button. Tap a few times and you’ve got an umbrella combo. Hold a bit and you can shoot lasers. Except the difference in timing between tapping for melee and a quick umbrella shot is rather small. I frequently found myself shooting when I just wanted to do melee. And when you shoot instead it has a lot of end lag leaving you vulnerable. Pretty awkward honestly. It may be a skill issue on my end, but this game isn’t winning any combat awards. Too basic. But eh, it works.
Really I don’t have much else to say for this section. The new gameplay mechanics such as stacking and train passes don’t exactly revolutionize anything. For the most part you’re playing the same game on new maps. Just the way a DLC should be if you ask me, but it doesn’t give me much to talk about for this section.
The Soundtrack
The DLC introduces a substantial amount of new music to complement its new areas, and it’s pretty good. The base soundtrack for the Arctic Cruise lives rent free in my head to this date. I don’t even like it that much, but they sure did successfully create a brain worm. The rest of the music wasn’t as memorable for me, but I think they essentially did a good job all around. Will I be bumping any of this in my headphones any time soon? Probably not, but they fit their settings well. The music intensify with the raising stakes, and chills out when they’re not as high. I approve.
Final Thoughts
What makes for a great DLC? There’s no singular answer to that question, but regardless of how it’s approached it makes you feel like you got your money’s worth. Between these two DLC I spent 10 dollars, and with that I got two very well designed new areas and a decent number of hours to clear them. Probably would be substantially more if I put more time into Death Wish and the time rifts. Seems like a solid deal to me.
Hat in Time’s DLC maps are better than the average offering of the base game. Perhaps that’s recency bias and my affinity towards cats and seals talking, but I don’t think that explains it all away. The developers likely learned a lot as they created the base game, and they applied it to make the DLC even better. The end result is some of the best DLC I’ve seen in general. I like this more than all of the FromSoft DLC I’ve played besides Old Hunters. I like this more than most DLC I’ve played period. This is the kind of thing I wish more games offered as DLC. It’s more than just cosmetics or a minor addition. It’s not some crucial part of the game intentionally separated from the base to rake in more cash. It’s a passion project in its own rights. I imagine they wanted to make extra money off of it too, but it feels like the primary goal was to make something good.
So how good is this DLC exactly? By my estimations it’s Pretty Fuckin’ Good.7. Or if I were to put it in less precise terms I’d rate it a 9/10.
Thus concludes my review, and my last blog post of 2023. Its been a pretty good year for me, and I hope its been good to you as well. Even if it hasn’t been, I hope 2024 will be better. Honestly it’s pretty hard to say if it actually will be, there’s plenty of cause for concern. But shit I don’t want to give up on the year before it even starts. We’ll see. Perhaps if you’re reading this post after it came out you’re seeing for yourself already. And for those that are reading it on release day, Merry Christmas! Stay tuned for next time and you’ll get to read… something. Honestly I haven’t decided what the next post will be yet, and I hardly ever plan that ahead of time. So yeah, bye for now!
Cosmia 