Now that I’m free from grad school (for now…) I would like to talk about my song of the year: a twelve minute indie rock song from the nineties. There’s some amazing music that came out this year don’t get me wrong. I loved the new FKA Twigs, Kendrick, and Pusha T records for instance and I’m sure there’s a lot of good stuff released that I haven’t checked out yet… or never will because I simply never learned of its existence or thought to give it a chance. Even so, there is not a single song I have listened to more this year than “Respect is Due”. Not only is it a great song, but it helped me process some stuff in my own life. As such, I would like to give my due respect to this song and discuss it.

I started listening to The Dismemberment Plan last year when last.fm decided to recommend them to me. Honestly, they made a good call. I like indie shit and I like sarcastic shit so this band has plenty to offer for me. Travis Morrison’s unconventional vocals might be a turn off for some folks, but they’ve grown on me quite a bit. You really aren’t going to get anything quite like these guys anywhere else.

If you have never listened to this band before I honestly don’t think this particular song is the best entry point. Check out some songs from Emergency & I or Change first instead tbh. Like this one or this one. Alternatively, you can check “Respect is Due” out here. You also have the option to not listen to them at all. Your call~

The reason I do not think this song is a great entry point is because it is not particularly representative of their usual sound. It is a long slow burn of a song where most of their other work is shorter and more punchy. It’s like telling someone to check out Weezer by listening to “Only in Dreams” or some shit. And this song’s even longer! Still, I personally enjoy long songs assuming they have enough going on to justify the runtime. It’s easy enough to see why some people would not enjoy them though. Having a song command your attention for that long is a lot to ask for, and most songs like that aren’t particularly catchy either. But if you’re willing to look past all that you’ll find some amazing music. Like this one~

The song begins with a low rumbly bassline that starts quiet and then gets a bit more forceful. It draws me in and reminds me of a simmering anger that is kept under wraps. The drums kick in, then the guitar does too, and they add a lighter touch to the song. Gotta love sarcastic guitar noises y’know. You kinda have to like the soundscape created here because it carries on throughout the whole song. It is slow, it is understated. But to me it provided a distinct emotional space that I could connect to. No other song I’ve listened to captures this bitter feeling quite as well. Well, that’s mostly because there aren’t too many songs that take a tone like this to begin with. I honestly wish I could say more about the music here. Alas I haven’t studied music theory and I’m not going to go around making shit up. I like when stuff starts quiet and then gradually gets intense. This song has amazing buildup and then the buildup becomes the payoff. It plays off the vocals and lyrics well too. It’s good shit.

With all my praise for the music I think it’s the lyrics that really make the song work. If it was purely an instrumental it’d get a bit boring after a while, but Travis Morrison’s singing brings it together. With that being said, let’s take a look at those lyrics.

Well I only call you darling
‘Cause I know how much it bugs you
And darling, some habits are so hard to break
Think condescension is sexy?
Well, that’s your mistake to make

Right out the gate Travis admits to calling his SO “darling” to annoy her… actually is it a she? I think it probably is tbh but there’s no direct confirmation in this song. What gay guy calls their boyfriend darling any way? Maybe to bug them? Well whatever, let’s just assume it’s a lady because some of their other songs more explicitly refer to one. But any ways, he admits to this and then proceeds to continue calling her darling for the rest of the song. That’s some top tier pettiness. And then he asks if she thinks condescension is sexy, presumably because he’s been on the receiving end of it. Is he the primary asshole here? Is he responding to what his girl threw at him in kind? Those are hard questions to definitively answer based only off of his lyrics, but a plausible answer may emerge in due time. Regardless, this verse is a clear indication that their relationship isn’t going too well… or already over.

So I learned about my power
And I learned how not to say it
And I learned that I have things that some people need
And yeah I know it’s not healthy
But it sure beats giving you the lead

Now this is where the lyrics start getting more relatable for me. I think I learned something similar to Travis from the relationship this song reminds me of. I felt I had to be careful with my words lest I set them off and/or seriously hurt them. And when I wasn’t careful that was often what happened. I also learned that I’m not completely devoid of desirability. That I too have some things that some people need. I hope my influence on them has largely been positive on net, but I really don’t know. I can’t tell it their influence on me has been positive on net either. I learned a lot, but maybe I’ll have to unlearn some of it. The jury’s still out on that one I suppose.

I’m definitely projecting my own experience on this song. I feel like some
lines could apply almost 1:1 here, while others don’t quite line up. I don’t
think there’s anything wrong with that though, so long as I’m aware where the boundaries lie. My conception of “my power”, “how not to say it” and “some things that some people need” is different from the specifics of Travis’
situation. But he’s being vague about the specifics there, which makes it
easier for me to fill in the blanks with my own situation. Furthermore, I don’t
think my personal interpretation is too far off from what he meant.

That being said, my personal interpretation does not include a great explanation for what he knows isn’t healthy. For whatever reason his relationship became a competition of sorts. He found out what he can do and what he can provide, but it didn’t amount to anything healthy I suppose. Perhaps the fact that I felt like I had some forms of power over them was a problem to begin with. Or maybe the problem is what he wants to do with what he learned. It seems like he chose to use that power to try to get on top. I guess their relationship devolved into some form of power struggle. It certainly isn’t healthy to view your partner as someone you have to win against.

That’s the interpretation I managed to come up with any way. It makes me wonder what I can do with what I learned from them. I certainly didn’t learn how to have a healthy relationship, but if I take the right lessons away maybe it will help me forge one in the future. Am I taking the right lessons away though? Fuck if I know. I’m single af at the moment so I guess I’ll worry about that later.

If I ever would let down the walls
That protects me from you
I would say respect is due
But not in this lifetime

And here’s the chorus of the song. To be honest, I didn’t understand what he meant with this chorus until I got out. Maybe I still don’t get it, but I’ve come to my own understanding. Why is this the part that gets repeated with increasing passion and intensity at the end? Why could he only say respect is due in song rather than to her face? I suspect it’s for a similar reason that I’m writing a blog post they probably won’t read instead of telling them what I think. I played the asshole to get out. I was pretty vague with my reasoning. I protected them from the worst I could say. I let their view of me solidify as their truth. In doing so I protected myself from the emotional mess that letting my walls down would have created. It’s easier this way. That’s how I feel these lyrics relate to my life. As for the singer…

Why exactly does Travis Morrison wish he could tell her that “respect is due”? It’s the title of the song, and yet the idea of respect is seemingly absent from anywhere else in the song. He’s not giving her much respect, and the way he’s singing about it I doubt he got much respect either. Perhaps that right there is the issue. Perhaps the lack of respect in their relationship was its biggest downfall. Who’s to say?

So maybe I’d have loved you
Maybe if you loved me
Maybe the Easter bunny exists
But I’m not mad
It’s all the same to me now, dear
Yeah, but don’t think I don’t have those old lists

Maybe this right here is the actual biggest problem. Dating without love is a set up for failure. What strikes me about these lines is the implied futility of them. The chances of them loving each other are apparently as likely as the Easter bunny existing. He’s like, being sarcastic and shit. Woah.

These bitter lines are followed by “but I’m not mad.” A line frequently associated with those who truly aren’t mad. Still, given the tone of his voice I believe him. Perhaps he was angry at one point, but it seems more like a resigned bitterness now. One that can return to anger quickly if given the chance though. He’s still holding on to those old lists after all. It’s unclear what’s on the old lists exactly, but they presumably contain plenty of ammunition.

Now the guns are tired
Shoot bullets in slow motion
And all the soldiers have all gone home
And that’s too bad
‘Cause it was such a nice war, dear
Yeah, but it’s time to leave well enough alone.

I think the meaning of this part is pretty straightforward. He’s comparing the fights they had to wars. Now that they’ve presumably broken up and aren’t engaging with each other as much the battle has slowed to a halt. I think it’s safe to say the “that’s too bad” and “it was such a nice war dear” stuff is purely sarcastic, but who knows maybe he enjoyed it. I doubt he’d need walls to protect himself from her if he actually did though.

This verse makes two things clear that were just implied before. One is that they argued a lot. This isn’t especially surprising given how sassy the lyrics were beforehand. There was likely plenty of unpleasantness to go around with his darling. I don’t think the breakup song would be like this if they got along well. Which leads to the second point, which is that this verse heavily implies that they aren’t together any more. Or maybe the guns are tired because they figured out how to stop fighting… yeah no.

After that verse he sings the chorus once again, except he says time twice. He holds the note but doesn’t exactly put a lot of energy into it. His voice fades out giving way for an instrumental bridge. The guitar makes some noise before petering out. Then the drums kick in again, this time sounding more reminiscent of a war march. Then the bass line starts doing its thing again, and the guitar does as well. It’s like the music falters a bit as he has some second thoughts. The sound then recovers with a bit more strength behind it. Just in time for the last set of verses.

Well I only call you darling
Because I really mean it
Don’t take my word for it; I wouldn’t take yours
And yeah I know it’s not healthy
Yeah, but it sure beats picking at age-old sores

So bon voyage, my darling
It was real good knowing you
That’s French for “have a good trip,” if you didn’t know
‘Cause condescension is sexy
And I don’t know why you wouldn’t think so

With these verses it’s all tied together. They like, call back to the first lines of the song and then do something different with them. A very high level technique I assure you. This time it’s even more irony laden than before. “Don’t take my word for it, I wouldn’t take yours” and “it sure beats picking at age old sores” are both great lines that largely speak for themselves. Being a sarcastic ass and fucking with her is preferable to relitigating shit they somehow still haven’t completely gotten past. Not all unhealthy activities are equally unhealthy. Making a bitter and snarky ass breakup song isn’t particularly healthy in general, but it seems like it fits this unpleasant relationship rather well.

Then he says farewell to his darling using a little-known French phrase.
Apparently, Bon Voyage is French for “have a good trip”, which is a good piece of information to have tbh. If you weren’t aware of that fact before you
certainly are now. I’m glad we could learn a little something together today.
After dropping this knowledge bomb Travis calls back to the opening verse of the song again by saying “Cause condescension is sexy, and I don’t know why you wouldn’t think so.” Perhaps now his ex won’t think condescension is sexy anymore. Or perhaps it’s only sexy when they do it. Either way it’s a good line.

The remaining 3 minutes of the song are dedicated to Travis singing the chorus repeatedly. On paper this sounds kinda boring, but it’s my favorite part of the song. Part of it’s just me being a sucker for stuff that slowly builds up in intensity. That quiet to loud stuff is my jam, and I couldn’t tell you why. I also appreciate the raw emotion in the singing here. It’s like he’s venting out all of his frustrations in the relationship with every line. It’s cathartic in a way. Well, it’s cathartic for me listening along any way. I can’t speak for Travis though I suspect it was for him too. Regardless, it’s a powerful end to a great song and album.

So that’s Respect Is Due, a slow burn that’s pure fire. I hope y’all that have read this post to the end will give The Dismemberment Plan a shot if you haven’t yet. They’re a dope band, though admittedly they’re kinda niche for a reason. But if you like indie rock type stuff at all they’re well worth a shot.

Otherwise I’ll be back with another post at another time. I can’t say when, but I’m on break at the moment so I’ll have more time to work on these. Whether or not I’ll make use of that extra time remains to be seen but yeah. I might even redesign the site. Maybe. Regardless, later folks!